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Showing posts from June 26, 2011

Position Wanted: Mansitter

I'm currently accepting applications to find a special friend for Big V. Perhaps we could call the position Mansitter. Because if I don't find someone soon I might explode. Or maybe Big V would explode. Accidentally, I mean. Not like premeditatively. Because that would be very wrong.

But the man doesn't seem to understand that I have a really good book that I am currently obsessed with called The Kitchen House and so I want to read that really good book and not have to entertain him. And by entertain I totally mean look up from the page long enough to acknowledge his presence. Because it is a really good book.

At least the first half of the book is really good and so I expect the second half to be just as exciting because if it's not then I'm totally planning a Eh, it was alright campaign and then no one will ever bother reading that disappointing book and the author would be upset. But maybe not, since all of you probably immediately scrambled to buy the book bas…

Sometimes I'm so nice I surprise myself. Actually, no, not really.

Most of you probably assume I'm pretty cold hearted. Which would be mostly right. Because I mostly subscribe to the God gave you arms and legs so you could use them school of thought. This means I say do it yourself a lot.
But then sometimes people actually do stuff by themselves. But I don't like it. Because the way they do it is stupid.
Like when Big V makes macaroni and cheese every single blasted time he makes dinner. What's worse is it's a watered down version. I'm not sure what one actually does to make it watered down because I've made macaroni and cheese a lot and there's no water in the recipe, except what you use when you boil the noodles, so maybe he just has never read the drain noodles portion of the directions.
Anyway, in those cases, when he does things himself I think we'd all be better off if I just handled it myself.
And so I do.
Like, with lunches. Since Big V tends to have champagne taste on a third world public well budget, I've…