Next Stop: The Boston Marathon! Or maybe just some Slimfast.

Once upon a time I looked like this:

Which is to say, in shape and thin. (I had better pictures, but they just kinda sorta just made me look like a bar whore - no matter how hard I tried to photoshop the shot glasses out of the pictures and replace them with bible clip art.)

Then I met Big V and we got engaged. And pregnant. Except, by we I mean just I got pregnant and ended up looking like this:

Now, 21 months after I gave birth I look like this:

Like I'm going to show you my stomach. Not. A. Chance.

And now THIS has happened:



What is this, you ask? This is 65 of my used-to-fit-me shirts that are now being asked to leave my closet. Yes, sixty five. Including my super-duper all time favorite Woods Tree Farm long sleeved t-shirt. If I had a dollar for each shirt that no longer fits me due to girth restraints I could go out and buy me something like this:

Also, I just want you to know that so far today I have had one can of Diet Dr. Pepper, one Kit-Kat bar, one Twix bar, one Snickers bar, one Milky Way bar, one Crunch bar and one Oreo Dipped Delight Bar. I think I may have a problem.

Also, my teeth hurt.