Monday, June 13, 2011

Next Stop: The Boston Marathon! Or maybe just some Slimfast.

Once upon a time I looked like this:

Which is to say, in shape and thin. (I had better pictures, but they just kinda sorta just made me look like a bar whore - no matter how hard I tried to photoshop the shot glasses out of the pictures and replace them with bible clip art.)

Then I met Big V and we got engaged. And pregnant. Except, by we I mean just I got pregnant and ended up looking like this:

Now, 21 months after I gave birth I look like this:

Like I'm going to show you my stomach. Not. A. Chance.

And now THIS has happened:

What is this, you ask? This is 65 of my used-to-fit-me shirts that are now being asked to leave my closet. Yes, sixty five. Including my super-duper all time favorite Woods Tree Farm long sleeved t-shirt. If I had a dollar for each shirt that no longer fits me due to girth restraints I could go out and buy me something like this:

Also, I just want you to know that so far today I have had one can of Diet Dr. Pepper, one Kit-Kat bar, one Twix bar, one Snickers bar, one Milky Way bar, one Crunch bar and one Oreo Dipped Delight Bar. I think I may have a problem.

Also, my teeth hurt.


HeatherB said...

Enjoy life! When we die, I am pretty sure we will not be laying on our death bed saying. "I wish I would have ran that triathlon, or jogged everyday."

Life is too precious (and delicious) to worry about running around.

You may have a chocolate addiction though - and it sounds like a pretty pricey problem. I would hate for you to not be able to pay for your bathroom remodel because you are bingeing on chocolate bars. :)

(And the idea that men will be working in your bathroom and may catch you in stages of nakedness, should further propel you to giving up the chocolate - just saying).

Johi said...

I feel your pain. I am sporting a super gut. I just saw pictures of myself and my stomach was protruding out more than my boobs. It was depressing. I can home and ate some chocolate.

Becca said...

Food is yummy. I'm going to name my tummy and wear midriff baring shirts. Maybe I'll even be on People of Walmart. Care to join me?

Phoenix Rising said...

I want you all to come live with me. Like in a commune - but not like a cult because I'm scared of those. But we can collect eggs and think about riding bikes and we can make each other laugh. I'll even share my candy bars and muu-muus!

Ellen said...

I tend to hide the stuff that won't fit (not as many as you have however) and hope that the next season they will fit. Because I save the small size stuff and toss any baggy stuff. If I catch myself looking awful (even if it fits) it is gone...adios!

I have capris that are too snug this summer...I want to wear them...but not will muffin top. So I bought two new pairs...not wild about that. Trying to eat less than before and still eat healthy. Trying to work out with the walking at least 3x a week...trying.


Just drink coffee. Since I started, but chocolate intake has cut way down. Although, if I run out of coffee and I see someone with a Snickers, I may attack.... maybe somewhat like Teddy Roosevelt.