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Showing posts from June 12, 2011

Domestic Goddess Is Not Listed On My Resume. Apparently for very good reason.

The problem with having more and more people I know read blog is that I'm becoming more and more limited with who I can write about. Since I'm surrounded by crazy people I find myself surrounded by tons of blogworthy anecdotes. But then I remember they're crazy in the obviously I'm talking about you; who else do you know on the planet that thinks it's a good idea to wear chaps with nothing under them to work? kind of way. And that means they're pretty recognizable. And so then they'll obviously recognize themselves and know I'm blogging about them. And, again, they're crazy. Which means unstable. And I like living.

So, instead, I'll tell you about how I baked bread.

Or thought it would be a good idea to try to bake bread. Because my kids started going away for visits to their dads' every other weekend and I was actually finding myself lonely and depressed and thinking no one would want me because I was a single mom with two kids from two dif…

Cutting For Stone

I stayed up way too late last night finishing the book Cutting For Stone by Abraham Verghese. I liked it. But I wouldn't actually recommend it to anyone I personally knew because they might be all why did she want me to read THIS book? There's a lot of gross descriptive surgery scenes. And whores. A lot of sex with whores. But not a whole lot. Just a little bit, you know? But someone who might be a tad uptight might think that's just three whores too many, you know?
I had to finish it because I have to start our next book club book called The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom (no relation to CSI's Dr. Gil Grissom) before Book Club actually meets. And also because I just bought seven books from the library sale for a dollar. I may have to take a week off of work just to catch up on my reading.
As you can see I was being practically forced to stay up late reading - and it totally worked out because Big V was not even home. This is important for pleasant reading experienc…

It's Flag Day and I Totally Forgot My Flag

Today is Flag Day, except I don't even know what that means even though I'm pretty sure I should. I just know that it says Flag Day on my calendar like it's a holiday but it must be a holiday nobody likes because (1) I still have to go to work and (2) Yahoo doesn't even have any clip art on their home page. I was expecting some little dude walking across the header to raise his flag. But there's nothing.

Had I noticed the un-holiday earlier I could've totally dressed up like Betsy Ross. I think she sewed a flag or two back in the day. Or I could've gathered flags and decorated my office. I can't now, though, because it's not like I have a bunch of flag fabric lying around the house. I do have some bed sheets. Maybe I could put those up in the office.

Anyway, I was curious as to what Flag Day is all about and why we don't celebrate it by having the day off, so I looked it up on Wikipedia... and was instantly reminded of my high school history cl…

Next Stop: The Boston Marathon! Or maybe just some Slimfast.

Once upon a time I looked like this:


Which is to say, in shape and thin. (I had better pictures, but they just kinda sorta just made me look like a bar whore - no matter how hard I tried to photoshop the shot glasses out of the pictures and replace them with bible clip art.)
Then I met Big V and we got engaged. And pregnant. Except, by we I mean just I got pregnant and ended up looking like this:

Now, 21 months after I gave birth I look like this:

And now THIS has happened: 


What is this, you ask? This is 65 of my used-to-fit-me shirts that are now being asked to leave my closet. Yes, sixty five. Including my super-duper all time favorite Woods Tree Farm long sleeved t-shirt. If I had a dollar for each shirt that no longer fits me due to girth restraints I could go out and buy me something like this:


Also, I just want you to know that so far today I have had one can of Diet Dr. Pepper, one Kit-Kat bar, one Twix bar, one Snickers bar, one Milky Way bar, one Crunch bar and one Oreo Dipped D…