Tuesday, April 26, 2011

You only want more Teen because you don't have more Teen.

As you know, I posted yesterday. I shared this text I received from my 15-year old daughter.

And you people wanted more.

Is that text even real?

Why on earth did she ask that?

Where was she when she asked that?

Did you even reply?

What on earth did you say?

So, because it's obvious I'm the only person in the entire world who has a child like this and you are all captivated in this unique species, I shall now give you more. I don't blame you; it's how I am with conjoined twins. I'm absolutely fascinated with how they manage to adapt in order to function successfully in life.

I was sitting at my desk at work when the text came in. The time was 12:07pm. 

After reading the text, and subsequently requesting assistance in lifting my head up from my desk, I responded with a series of text message replies because I believe it's important to 'keep the lines of communication open' even if it kills me.

"I would think the tampon would expand once it was soaking in any liquid form rendering it difficult/impossible to insert. Especially if you used the OB brand. However, I think the plastic applicators would still function. Not the cardboard... they'd fall apart from being too wet and soggy. Also, I would be incredibly leery of any guy wandering around with a box of tampons and a bottle of booze."

To which she replied with:

"Thanks for the info. I'll be glad to share it tomorrow with my class."

And that got me really confused. Like, really confused. And kind of scared.

Turns out they were discussing this rumor in class and whether or not it was true or false. My daughter piped up with hold on, I'll ask my mom - she'll know. Can't wait for that parent/teacher conference.


Tina, said...

Whew, I was becoming concerned for some poor young man...and glad your Teen Bean doesn't live close to my Teen Boy. LOL. Too funny

Becca said...

I like this version even better!

Brian Larson said...

Dare I ask what kind of class this was? Geometry?

John said...

I love how your daughter set the scene with that question. It wasn't enough to ask, "if you soak a tampon in alcohol and insert it, will you die?" No. Not nearly enough. Let's add a guy. And make it at a party. That way your mother will start thinking things like, "There's a guy at a party inserting tampons soaked in Jack Daniels into young women's yoohoo's. And my daughter is there. And she has a yoohoo."

Now MY daughter would have text me the following, "Can you tell Brittany she's a dumb ass for thinking about soaking tampons in alcohol?"

Put her on the phone.

Ellen said...

I honestly didn't know whether to freak out or laugh when I read this. Such things our teens may through upon us. My son is quiet so he would not have uttered the question...even in text..now if my youngest daughter (25 now) had a cell phone back in the day, I would have imagined she would have driven me insane (and she did that anyway) by texting me all sorts of strange topics because I did tell her she could ask me ANYTHING. Believe me she asked me more than I REALLY wanted but well...I was trying to be a open minded mom.

She must be in a health class as they seem to cover a broad range of question / answers on life of a teen.

Your answer, after you picked your head up, was quite good too. Calm, clear and yes I would think the rest of this story should be interesting table talk tonight!

Janel said...

What a frightening glimpse into my future. If you got the text at 10pm on a Saturday, though, the next questions would be, "How quickly can my car make it to where she is? Have I ever tested the top speed? Can a Hyundai Elantra actually GO 110 mph, or is that number on the speedometer just there to make me feel better about driving a Hyundai Elantra?"

Johi said...

Love it!