Freezer Leaks: EXPOSED!

I don't normally write about work because I'm afraid I'll get fired and let's be honest: (1) I need the health insurance, and (2) I'm not nearly as clever as Dooce and will probably never turn my firing into a multi-million dollar empire, so I was taking quite a chance yesterday by unlocking the secrets of the office freezer.

Imagine my shock (and slight horror) when, at lunch today, the boss stands up, goes to the freezer, opens it, and announces something along the lines of look at all these decrepit bananas; I shall, upon my most immediate convenience, take them home and bake them into a tasty banana bread for all to enjoy.

Say what?! I sat dazed and confused, convinced I had been exposed and surely would be fired for my satirical view of the beloved freezer. She continued to announce the 4-year old popsicles ought to be dumped.

Take a look at our newly cleaned freezer:

The brick of butter is still there.

And, so far, I'm still employed here.

So, let's celebrate by finally finding out what's being kept in that big deep freezer we also have in the office: 

  

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You might want to start brainstorming on how you're going to explain to your kids why the Easter Bunny didn't stop by this year.

What? Did you really think there really was the body of a mountain goat in there? Why on earth would we keep a mountain goat in our office freezer? You people are weird.