Secrets of an Office Freezer

Lean Cuisine and Sandwiches. Obviously, it's someone's lunch. Obviously, it's not mine since it isn't piping hot and sitting in a take-out container.

We also find an old banana that someone just couldn't dare part with.

A box of French Fries. We don't have a deep fryer, but I'm sure thawed out at room temperature those babies are tasty.

Ice cubes. Only one person uses ice cubes in the office. They must be prepared.

Cake. Trust me on this one: cake tastes better frozen.

Popsicles. No one actually eats these popsicles. At least, no one has since the fall of 2007.

A pound of butter: you never know when you'll need to move heavy office furniture. Greasing the floor helps things slide.

More old, black bananas: we feel bad wasting our rotten fruit. Please don't suggest baking banana bread because if someone hasn't had the urge to bake that in the past four years I doubt they'll find the urge now.

Ice. Lots of Ice. Ice packs. Ice cubes in a Ziploc bag. Ice cubes in a Styrofoam cup. You can never have too much ice, people!

Then there's this beast, which may or may not contain the body of a large mountain goat. Or it might just be running with absolutely nothing in it at all (every single day for the past month or so) because someone might have stock in the electric company.