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There is nothing so maddening as losing a pair of shoes.

We lost the baby's shoes.

His only pair. Gone.

We looked everywhere. In the closets, under the beds, in the toy box, in the kitchen cabinets. The kid is mobile and loves to put his shoes on and take them off. In fact, he takes them off every single time we're in the car.

So we looked in both vehicles. Under the seats. Under the car seat.

Nothing.

I've asked the girls to look in their rooms. And look in their rooms again.

Especially the Bean. She can be, oh, how shall I say this? A disastrous housekeeper. She could have a live warthog in her bedroom and I'd never find it. So I really zoned in on the Bean.

Did you look in your room? I mean, really look. Like, under things? Behind things?

And still nothing.

Last night I was on a mission to find those shoes. I cleaned. I organized. I set about mumbling passive comments loud enough for everyone to hear.

 I'm going to be so pissed, Bean, if I look in your room and find them!

Okay. Perhaps not so passive.

Big V chimed in, attempting to help, "We had him in your car after picking him up Friday night and I know he had his shoes on then. He had to have taken them off in your car. They must be in your car. Did you look in your car?"

Annoyed, I snipped back, Of course I have looked my car, thankyouverymuch. A thousand times I have looked in my car. My car is empty. In fact, I had the Bean clean out my car Saturday morning when she wanted to borrow it...  wait a second.... Bean. What exactly did you do with the stuff you took out of my car when you cleaned it?

"Oh. I put everything in your trunk."

* silence *

What?

"Well, I didn't know what you wanted me to do with everything so I just threw it all in your trunk."

* stunned silence *
I was stunned. Not her. She was oblivious.

Could you, uh, by chance, go out to the car, open the trunk and see if your brother's shoes are in there?

"Oh, I know his shoes are in there because I saw them when I cleaned out your car and put them in the trunk."

And yet you never thought to mention this at all during the entire week we've been looking for his shoes?

"Well, you never asked me if they were in the trunk."

* crickets *

You know what? How about you just go grab everything out of the trunk of the car and we'll start from there.

Comments

HeatherB said…
I have had that EXACT conversation with my husband. Glad you found the shoes though!
Tina, said…
So....? What did she think she was looking for in her room? Please ask her...I really want to know what she says.
Becca said…
Stinking shoes. I'd probably add ten years to my life expectancy if I wasn't responsible for keeping track of two (soon to be three) tiny pairs of sneakers. OMG.

Which is why it's not uncommon for me to take my 2 year old to the grocery store barefoot. We live in Texas. They have to be three before they really have to wear shoes.
I am not laughing at you. I am laughing with you. It's even more maddening when it's your husband that pulls stuff like that, right? I know you feel me.

On a separate note. Isn't it amazing how you have one pair of shoes for your baby boy? My boys usually had 2. One for dress & one for play, but Mia has at least 4 and I'm still on the look out for a cute pair of red Mary Janes. What girl doesn't need a pair of red Mary Janes? I know I do!
Anonymous said…
Did you say to the Bean, "EX-SHOES ME?" I've always wanted to say that, but never seem to have the opportunity.
Brenna said…
But there wasn't a warthog in the trunk right? This very evening I was scrambling around on hands and knees looking for the girl's Easter shoes, because I was dumb enough to let her wear them early. I still haven't found them and we leave at 8am.
Getrealmommy said…
damn. that's all I've got.

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