Friday, February 18, 2011

Vacuum Cleaners Hate Me

I sweep my carpet.

There. I said it.

I sweep my carpet and I'm not even freaking Amish! I can totally say that without being offensive because the Amish don't blog so they'll never see this. At least, I don't think they blog. They don't blog, do they? There's nothing wrong if they do blog. In fact, if they did I'd really like to read their blog because I watched a documentary about the Amish recently called Amish at the Alter and I have questions about it so if they did blog and I read it I could probably ask them questions in the comment section like how do you make your noodles?

Look, I believe in machines and electricity. I believe in vacuum cleaners. In fact, I strongly believe in the self-propelled vacuum cleaners because then I don't have to exert too much physical energy sucking up the living room rug. But vacuum cleaners do not believe in me.

In the past three years we have gone through 4 vacuum cleaners. Hoover. Eureka. Bissel. Some off brand no one could pronounce. They all broke. They all smoked, caught on fire and left the rancid smell of burnt belt odor hanging in our home.

The majority of the floors in our home are hardwood or tile. We have three small bedrooms with carpet and two area rugs. And to be honest, it's not like I have a regular vacuum cleaning schedule so it's not like the vacuums are being overworked here. And yet, they continue to break.

I feel lost. Rejected. Alienated from the rest of the vacuum loving world. What I wouldn't give to be able to shout at the top of the mountain I LOVE MY VACUUM!

After this 4th one bailed on us I've decided it's best if I just don't get involved with another vacuum for a while. At least not until I heal properly. I'm just not trusting anymore, you know?

4 comments:

Brenna said...

Blogging Amish is an awesome band name. Just sayin'.

Rebecca said...

Nothing worse than the smell of burnt belt...unless maybe you add the smell of burnt hair to it.

allstarme said...

Ok so I'm thinking I MIGHT start sweeping too because I just had to replace the roller on a $150 Eureka and it cost me 50 bucks! I will still vacuum but I'd like this one to last longer. What kind of broom do you use? I really only want to collect the hair, you know?

Ellen said...

We found a Kenmore vacuum on the street awaiting pickup day from our twice a year free pickups. This vacuum has been great for our carpets with its power head. I don't know why anyone would get rid of it! It was free except to buy bags for it.

Sweeping however would be an ordeal here with 2 dogs and 2 cats...I need a vacuum.