Tweet Last night I accidently lost brain cells by getting sucked in to a show on MTV called "The Riot on the Bayou: My mother hates my boyfriend." The reality show followed the lives of Mama Tiff and Daddy Cain and their 4 children: Clint (19), Kathleen (18), April (17, and also the narrator of the episode) and Colette (16). They live in the bayou where it's legal to drink alcohol underage as long as you have your Mama's consent which means basically that all these kids were drunk the entire time.
Clint aspires to be a bull rider - he stayed up 2 seconds before he busted up his arm.
Clint: (several hours later) Why's it all green like that?
Mama: That's what happens when bones get broke. (walks out of room to refill beer)
Kathleen is pretty and all the guys like her. She used to date Nick but he was mean and treated her like crap and cheated on her so they broke up. Then they got back together after he saw her shaking her groove thang on stage at a local concert. Mama Tiff didn't like that at all because Nick was a jerk but everyone knows you can't stop true love. Then Kathleen cheated on Nick with Logan because I guess, in the bayou, you can love one person and kiss someone else.
Nick: Why'd you kiss him?
Kathleen: 'cause I was drunk!
Nick: But why'd you have to go make out with someone I got in a fight with?
Kathleen: 'cause I told you I was drunk!
Mama Tiff then hosted a party where both Nick and Logan would be in attendance and surely kick the snot out of each other. Don't worry, like any good mother she armed herself with a can of mace in case things got out of hand.
I could tell you more about the show, but the most important detail I want to get across to you is this: I could so be messing up my kids' lives worse than I already am.