Everyone needs a Shannon. And some Sharpies. And maybe even a cat.
I have a sister.
Her name is Shannon.
Her name is Shannon.
She's some sort of counselor/psychologist/social worker type person. I can never remember what her technical title really is because:
(1) I'm totally distracted by the fact she can put a bunch of capital letters after she signs her name - that is so freaking cool! and,
(2) I also tend to get totally distracted that someone who once brought the farm goats inside our house to give them spa treatments is allowed to be responsible for the mental health of human beings. They got loose and ran wild throughout the house half-shaved (she was giving them a new look) and scared out of their wits. Do you know that goats drop a lot of turds when they are scared out of their wits? Also, they are incredibly speedy galloping up and down staircases.
I'm always like what advice do you actually give?
I'm always like what advice do you actually give?
"I don't know... I just feel stuck. Like, I'm just sitting here waiting for something and... I dunno... watching life pass me by...."
"Perhaps you should consider coordinating a song and dance routine to 'Daddy Sang Bass' and force your siblings to perform it in Aisle 7 at the local Piggly Wiggly."
Anyway. She gets me. She just doesn't want to say it out loud. More than likely because she's just like me but she's scared to face the truth. Face your fear, Shannon, face your fear.
Today I posted this on my sister's Facebook Wall so all her friends can see how magical our relationship is. (I know, I'm kind of surprised she hasn't blocked me yet, too.) Before you read you should know that I recently sought her advice on how I could learn to be more positive and not so negative and critical all the time.
Also, Shannon is way, way obsessed with Sharpies. I think she's planning a room addition to her house just to store her inventory. I'm only normally obsessed. There is a difference. Albeit a slight one.
Also -- do goats really gallop?
Today I posted this on my sister's Facebook Wall so all her friends can see how magical our relationship is. (I know, I'm kind of surprised she hasn't blocked me yet, too.) Before you read you should know that I recently sought her advice on how I could learn to be more positive and not so negative and critical all the time.
Bridget
Bridget
I just wanted you to know that my ultra fine point blue Sharpie has been used! I know this because whoever used it SMASHED THE
POINT! (I know you know what I mean.) I believe I am currently experiencing a psychosomatic reaction that includes rapid heartbeat,
dizziness, and irrational amounts of anger. Perhaps you should do your thesis on this particular phenomenon. You might even get a
recognized syndrome named after you: i.e., Werf Syndrome: a psychosomatic illness that causes rapid heartbeat, dizziness, and
irrational levels of anger when an individual is exposed to a Sharpie whose point has been softened and smashed by an unknown idiot
who obviously doesn't respect the Sharpie. (Say that last bit with a British accent; it sounds so much more distinguished.)
I just wanted you to know that my ultra fine point blue Sharpie has been used! I know this because whoever used it SMASHED THE
POINT! (I know you know what I mean.) I believe I am currently experiencing a psychosomatic reaction that includes rapid heartbeat,
dizziness, and irrational amounts of anger. Perhaps you should do your thesis on this particular phenomenon. You might even get a
recognized syndrome named after you: i.e., Werf Syndrome: a psychosomatic illness that causes rapid heartbeat, dizziness, and
irrational levels of anger when an individual is exposed to a Sharpie whose point has been softened and smashed by an unknown idiot
who obviously doesn't respect the Sharpie. (Say that last bit with a British accent; it sounds so much more distinguished.)
POINT! (I know you know what I mean.) I believe I am currently experiencing a psychosomatic reaction that includes rapid heartbeat,
dizziness, and irrational amounts of anger. Perhaps you should do your thesis on this particular phenomenon. You might even get a
recognized syndrome named after you: i.e., Werf Syndrome: a psychosomatic illness that causes rapid heartbeat, dizziness, and
irrational levels of anger when an individual is exposed to a Sharpie whose point has been softened and smashed by an unknown idiot
who obviously doesn't respect the Sharpie. (Say that last bit with a British accent; it sounds so much more distinguished.)
Also, Shannon is way, way obsessed with Sharpies. I think she's planning a room addition to her house just to store her inventory. I'm only normally obsessed. There is a difference. Albeit a slight one.
Also -- do goats really gallop?
Comments
I wish I had a better sister. I really don't know where my parents went wrong with that one...
@Johi: it also works with text convos and email strings. :)
@HeatherB: the shirts look fun! (Mine would never turn out that cute and clever.) And maybe you will find a PseudoSister in 2012! (They're just as good as the real thing, trust me.) :)