Yesterday I had this little thing planned called an Annual Exam with my favorite snarky gyno. It was a requirement that my doctor be skilled in sarcasm and I found the best. She has a Polish accent and even referred to me as Kermit the Frog due to my lack of those things that hang down in the back of your throat.
Anyway, yesterday she introduced me to the wonderful world of the Rectal Exam after I joked about the return of hemorrhoids and my solemn vow to never do THAT again! Oh, I'm sorry; you're uncomfortable? Imagine how I felt.
Then came the magic words: you just bought yourself a colonoscopy, lady. Because apparently there are no hemorrhoids. Which, means I've obviously got cancer. Because that's how my mind works. And the good doctor looked at me with her head cocked and said, you really are one of my most anxiety filled patients. (I took that to mean I'm her favorite.) And then she told me all about irritable bowel syndrome and all sorts of intestinal issues other than cancer that I can also obsess over. You know, just in case I run out of fear-filled obsessions.
After I left, I realized she never felt me up. I mean, conducted a breast exam. Don't they do that anymore? Or is this something I'm expected to do on my own? Because I have no problem poking my booby tissue, but what the heck do I know about what's supposed to be there and what isn't? What if I miss something? I'm not a doctor. This is just way too much responsibility and pressure for me.
To get my mind off of
Some types of cancer can be found before they cause symptoms. Research shows that using certain screening tests regularly will reduce deaths from some types of cancers. These types include Breast Cancer, Cervical Cancer and Colon & Rectal Cancer. Don’t be embarrassed; just get screened.