Boundary Waters Fires: Nothing to Complain About

I am incredibly allergic to smoke. When people who smoke come in the office I start sneezing within two seconds. It gives me a headache and leaves my throat raw and scratchy. My eyes get red and start tearing up. I think it's fair to say I would not have made a sexy smoker. Although I did try smoking. I so desperately wanted to be a smoker because I imagined that first deep inhale to be like an instant calming drug. Which it  is, I suppose, but wouldn't actually know about because I never could figure out that whole swallowing air thing. Really, smoking is much more complicated than what I am capable of.

Before going out to the bars I would pop some allergy meds and enjoy the rest of my evening dancing the night away. The next morning I would wake up sounding like the biggest bar hag you've ever come across. My throat would feel like it had been cut into a million pieces. It's kind of weird, really, but it's me.

And so, when I ventured outside today I thought (1) hmmm... it's kind of foggy... And (2) ah-CHOO!

Apparently the Minnesota Boundary Waters Fires are delivering smoke to good ole' Southeastern Wisconsin today.


Did I put my contacts in the wrong eyes again?



I think there's a Steven King book about this....

 I am now sniffling, sneezing, have a stuffy head and wish I could rest.

By the way, it also smells like burning plastic so it's kind of gross and makes me wonder why I bothered trying to squeeze out the last two pumps of my Burberry perfume this morning.

The whole thing simply baffles my mind. How can there be this much smoke and haze and odor from something so far away? Well, for one, there's about 60,000 acres currently burning (the whole thing practically tripled in size over night). It's quick. Very quick. Dangerously quick. And also, the way wind and weather works, the smoke has been picked up in the jet stream and is flying its way down to us along with the cool air dropping off temperatures we're not ready to get to yet. Can't it be summer for just a while longer? 

For the life of me I cannot imagine what it must be like for all the fire fighters battling the blazes. I cannot imagine the intense smell nor the frustrating blindness the smoke causes. I cannot imagine living any closer to it than what I already am. Godspeed, Minnesota.

That being said, people are not allowed to burn leaves in our quaint little village. This means that everyone and their brother has called me today to complain that someone down the street surely must be burning leaves. Or tires. And that I should go out immediatey, capture them and have them flogged in the public square. And this is getting terribly annoying. And so I say things like, "why yes, actually they are burning leaves.... 60,000 acres of leaves...." This whole business is getting on my last nerve.

I suppose this is as good a time as any to share with you that I've decided to participate in my church's Wednesday Evening Bible Study. They're doing something called Lord, Change my Attitude. Since I happen to have attitude I thought perhaps this would be somewhat applicable to my life.

The first chapter was titled Are you a complainer? and it went on to say how we really shouldn't complain but focus on the positive. And I immediately thought what the hell am I going to write about? Each day we are to read a couple pages and answer some questions. Day Two focused on sarcasm. I'm wondering if it's possible to actually fail bible study.