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What do families talk about at Thanksgiving if they're not snarky?

My dad is like a big kid. Always laughing and joking and hanging out with friends and never wanting to come home. But he does. Sometimes under the influence of alcohol, but he always comes home. He's always worked hard to support his family - two or three jobs, and even now in retirement, he continues to work. He's got a pretty great work ethic which makes me wonder why I managed to date every unemployed idiot in our county. He's pretty much had poor health his entire life (many times he had way worse than poor health) yet he never complains about it. You know those people that have to whine and cry and tell the world every time they have an ache or pain or a hang nail; yeah, we get it. You don't feel well. Ever. If my dad had been like that we would have killed him long ago.

Basically, my father has a pretty decent sense of humor. He "gets me." Which can be scary.

A couple weeks ago I gave him some balls for his birthday because he's old and he might lose his. Golfing, I mean. What? The guy has bad vision; those balls are small.

Then it was my birthday. I came home to find some lovely plants and flowers. (My dad is an excellent gardener. I am not. But my sister is. He gets me confused with her. But I still love the plants he gives me because they remind me of him and that he loves plants and that makes me smile. And when the plants die I remember that someday I'll miss him when he dies. It's like the gift that keeps on giving.)

It's like a thousand little hearts beating out my father's love.

Is this a palm tree? I don't live in Florida?

And he even included a card. I thought it was somewhat curious there was one, singular blue ball included in the envelope.

Well, that explains the ball. Kind of.

Big V:  Oh, your dad dropped you off a gift for your birthday? That was so nice of him. Let me read the card.


Big V:  This is the weirdest thing I think I've ever seen. Why would your dad give you a card like that?

Me:  Oh, because I was afraid he was getting old and going to lose his balls so I gave him some for his birthday. He's just getting me back.

Big V:  What? You what? Wait. Your dad is afraid you're going to lose your balls?

Me:  No... read the card. Obviously my dad is afraid I'm going to need something to do in case I get lonely.

Big V:  Couldn't you just read a book or something?

Me:  What?

Big V:  If you were lonely. Couldn't you just read a book until I got home?

Me:  Right. Because that's what you do when you're waiting for me to get home.

And so I called my dad to thank him for the beautiful flowers and the naked man.

Me:  Thanks for the birthday plants! They're beautiful! I love them!

Dad:  I forgot one of his balls. It's sitting on the kitchen counter; you can grab it next time you come over.

I feel so sad for people who don't have conversations like these.

I can't wait until Christmas. Let the games begin continue...


Becca said…
OMG that last part is AWESOME. He is a cool dad.
Johi said…
Ahaha! Your dad seems precious!

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