Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Billy Bob Thornton and the Amazing Scape Goose

We were at work for a lot of hours without any computers to do any work on and when there's no computers I start thinking about what else I could be doing around the office that might not require a computer.

The first thing I did was wipe down the wall next to my desk where I accidentally splashed half my latte once when I was dramatically and enthusiastically making a point. The point was don't slam your cup down or the contents will splash everywhere and nine weeks later you'll have to wash the wall when the computers go down. Let's just say I made my point.

And then I started to file. But that pretty much bit the big one so I decided to change the goose's outfit instead.

See, one day the Co-Worker decided we needed an office mascot so he brought in a goose that some lady pushed on him when he was at her house during an inspection. (Don't worry; it wasn't alive.) You might think that people try to hand us money so they can make sure they pass building inspections, but that never happens. Usually you just have to put up with dirty houses, unrecognizeable odors and untrained dogs. But not in this particular case. In this case, some lady shoved a plastic goose in the Inspector's hands along with a bag filled with goose outfits. (God help me if I ever become that woman who pawns off her plastic animals to people just trying to do their job...)

Co-Worker walked into the office with a goose under his arm and, well, what was I to do? He's standing there with his big ole' can we keep him eyes and the goose just looked so darn happy... so it became our office mascot: The Scape Goose. (I was really pushing for a scape goat but fake goats are surprisingly difficult to find. And if you do happen to find one you can almost never find clothes for the darn thing.)

Anyway, no computers meant Scape Goose got a new outfit. Since it's three thousand degrees out I decided summer wear was the way to go, but putting a coconut bra on a goose can be tricky.

I asked Co-Worker to help, but he seemed to not get a handle on the right things...

We couldn't figure the sucker out. Honestly, I consider myself a fairly intellegent person but this was just getting the best of us. That's when we thought of Miss J from up in the front office. Miss J can do everything so if anyone was going to know how to dress this goose it'd be her. Co-Worker dialed her extension and asked if she had a moment, could she come assist us with something.

The strange part was, she didn't even blink when she walked into our office and we told her we needed help dressing a duck. Uh, goose. She just acted like it was the most normal thing in the world. Which was good, because it lets me know I'm working with the right people; the kind who believe we all do better when we work together.

And then I started thinking about how sad it is that in some jobs people would think you were a tad bit off if you dressed up a  plastic Scape Goose and allowed someone else to take a picture of you with it. But not here, because I don't think my co-workers are off at all, you know?

Also, don't you think Co-Worker kind of has that Billy Bob Thornton look about him?  It might just be the way he's ogling that goose...


Tina, said...

That's too funny! I love the office goose. W have an armadillo who wears a cowboy hat and boots, mardi gras beads and sunglasses, but no outfits.


HeatherB said...

He looks just like Billy Bob Thornton, suspiciously so. Hmmmm - alter ego perhaps?

I love your duck, er, goose. That is excellent.

lunchat1130 said...

honestly, from the looks of your office freezer i thought your workplace might be truly lame. the fact that your coworkers will dress up a fake goose in a *coconut bra* (and then let you take photos) makes me think that maybe it doesn't suck so much after all. also? yeah that guy is a dead ringer for billybob. ask if he's had sex w/angelina. wait no. wait...yes. wait, you get to inspect ppl's houses? do you ever come home smelling like mothballs? i don't think i could do your job. i'd totally barf.

Johi said...


Becca said...

Maybe that's what we need to liven up the physics department. No, it is not possible to liven up the physics department.