Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Observations at a Mall: Thoughts of a not-quite middle aged mother of three.

(1) Dressing rooms should be split between "Teens & Other Perky Bodies" and "Those Who Gave Birth Before You Damn Teeny Boppers Were Even Born."

(2) I am a pear. Regardless of what body shape I might have been two child-births ago, I am now, most definitely, a pear.

(3) Items at Barnes & Noble are one size fits all. Items at Victoria Secret are not.

(4) The soft pretzels with nacho cheese dip can make any shopping experience worthwhile.

(5) Because of this, I will, more than likely, always be a pear.

(6) I'm strangely okay with this because I like to read. A lot.

(7) I really like Barnes & Noble.

(8) I don't really need new clothes because I have sweatpants.

(9) So does Big V.

(10) I also really like soft pretzels with nacho cheese dip.


Becca said...

I'm hoping to be a pear again soon. Instead of an eggplant.

But I do love pretzels.

Rebecca said...

We just discovered pretzel nuggets with cheese dip (well, I don't think there's enough dairy in it to really be called cheese...more like cheeeze) They are dangerous. And addictive. And warm. And buttery. And salty. And then you can walk around the mall and feel better about burning off a tenth of the calories that you just inhaled in that doughy day-glo yellow cheezey mess of heaven.

I need to get back to the mall...

Johi said...

Pears unite!
I like books too. Shoes never disappoint me either.