Observations at a Mall: Thoughts of a not-quite middle aged mother of three.

(1) Dressing rooms should be split between "Teens & Other Perky Bodies" and "Those Who Gave Birth Before You Damn Teeny Boppers Were Even Born."

(2) I am a pear. Regardless of what body shape I might have been two child-births ago, I am now, most definitely, a pear.

(3) Items at Barnes & Noble are one size fits all. Items at Victoria Secret are not.

(4) The soft pretzels with nacho cheese dip can make any shopping experience worthwhile.

(5) Because of this, I will, more than likely, always be a pear.

(6) I'm strangely okay with this because I like to read. A lot.

(7) I really like Barnes & Noble.

(8) I don't really need new clothes because I have sweatpants.

(9) So does Big V.

(10) I also really like soft pretzels with nacho cheese dip.