How I barely escape committing a federal crime...
So, as you may or may not know I'm raising money for the American Cancer Society Relay For Life because it's important. Sometimes I think they should just make every single person in the US pay just 99 cents a year and then maybe we could do some serious business in regards to detecting and treating cancers. So if I was president that's what I'd do. But no one will let me be president because they're all you signed those confidentiality statements back in 1992 and that would create serious problems if any of that got out.
Anyway, my idea was to have people donate just 99 cents at this blog I set up and - HOLY BALLS! People are doing it!!
Even if you don't want to donate, that's cool. I just ask that you send the link on - maybe tweet it, or Facebook it or toss it from little pieces of paper dropped from airplanes. Just help get the word out.
Okay, maybe not the dropping paper thing. That's considered littering and if you read today's post you'll realize the FBI probably already has me under surveillance and is waiting to bust me for committing a federal crime. I'll give you a hint, it involves this:
And if the FBI is actually watching me, then they should donate just 99 cents, too. Because there are a lot of people who work for the FBI and that would add up quick. And it would be a shame to say to the FBI, "See, the general public donated more than you!" Unless the people donating weren't really the general public at all, but actually undercover FBI agents, we just didn't know that because they pretend they're Xerox machine salesmen. That FBI can be so tricky.
On a separate note, here's my cute Cletus the Used to be Fetus.
Don't you just want to eat him? You can't though. Because that would be sick and wrong.
Anyway, my idea was to have people donate just 99 cents at this blog I set up and - HOLY BALLS! People are doing it!!
Even if you don't want to donate, that's cool. I just ask that you send the link on - maybe tweet it, or Facebook it or toss it from little pieces of paper dropped from airplanes. Just help get the word out.
Okay, maybe not the dropping paper thing. That's considered littering and if you read today's post you'll realize the FBI probably already has me under surveillance and is waiting to bust me for committing a federal crime. I'll give you a hint, it involves this:
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| I swear, I found it this way. |
On a separate note, here's my cute Cletus the Used to be Fetus.
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| Have YOU donated to help fight cancer? Have you told your friends to donate? just 99 cents... |
Don't you just want to eat him? You can't though. Because that would be sick and wrong.
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