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Showing posts from July 5, 2009

Just Passing the Time

Nothing much going on over here. Unless you count passing out in your boss's office, crawling in delusional fury to the conference room floor to sprawl out on my left side all the while my boss saying things like, "Should I call an ambulance? Do you want water? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

The answer to all of those was unsurprisingly, "No."

No, I do not want an ambulance screeching to a halt in front of the building, lights flashing, sirens blaring, announcing to the world "The pregnant chick feels woozy! What a wimp!"

No, I do not want water. In fact, I have to pee. Really bad. Right now. On this floor. My crawling and shuffling seems to have rearranged my organs so Cletus the Fetus is now lying completely on my bladder. To be honest, I don't have much control in this area. One sneeze and I can't promise you a thing.

No, I do not want YOU to take me to the hospital. Who wants to be taken to the hospital by their boss? How emb…

What might happen?

My imagination has been working overtime recently. I attribute this to the large amounts of hormones overtaking my normally calm, zen-like personality. Yeah, that was sarcasm. For those of you that know me (mainly my sister, who right now is running to the bathroom before she wets herself while yelling, "Zen-like?! As if!!") you probably know that I'm a little more, uh, high-strung when it comes to safety.

I have been known to caution my children with such advice as:

"Don't ever go out of the house without me - because a stranger could take you, throw you in the trunk of their car and kill you - then you'll die!"

"Don't ever touch a dead bird - they have really bad germs and you could get them and then you'll die!"

"Don't ever go swimming without an adult present - because you could get caught in a current and drown and then you'll die!"

(My sister, the child psychologist, seems to think these cautionary statements is…

And so this child shall remain nameless...

Swear to Jesus we'll be "those people" whose kid goes nameless for the first three years of it's life only to be forced to name it something, thus assigning it a number or the name "Baby."

Not knowing what the sex of the baby is we are forced to come up with boy names and girl names. (We can't keep calling the child 'Cletus the Fetus' - especially if it's a girl.)

The Big V and I cannot - honestly, cannot come up with any name we agree upon. I like different names, unique names - but not bizarre names. The two girls I currently have were named somewhat boy names.... but let's be honest, they were whimpy boy names. I like names that are recognizable yet will cause someone to comment that they've never heard that name and where did we come up with it. And so, I like names like "Elliette" (yep, just like Elliott for a boy) or Eisley or Tamsin or Aeslin. I like Tiernan and Henry (ok - that's after my grandfather, who, by th…

Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson

I try to stay away from the controversial headlines for the simple fact that I am well aware that I probably am not privvy to all the facts. I work in local government and am quoted in the local papers often. More times than not the article doesn't quite say what I said. Oftentimes the article is written in a way that sways the reader in one direction or another when I was always taught newspaper reporting should be "just the facts;" the concise answers to Who, What, Where, Why and How Much? That being said, I take what I read/see in any given media with a grain of salt.

Do I know if everything I read about Michael Jackson was true? Not at all. Does that mean he never did any of the things he was accused of? Again, not at all. I, personally, will never know. Do I have "feelings about" or "opinions on" - of course. But I'm not an expert and I don't claim to be all-knowing.

However, this is the one fact I do know: three little kids lost their fath…