Skip to main content

Nothing Says "I Love You" More Than A Good Old-Fashioned Esophagus Burning.

We went out to dinner as a family the other night because sometimes the public needs to be shaken up a bit, you know?

Anyway. You know that lull of time between appetizers and actually receiving the food you really came to eat where most families talk about their day and chit chat about current events which we don't actually do because we live in Wisconsin and current events in Wisconsin completely sucks right now and you never know who is going to go all Facebook Wall Rage Ranting on you for stating your own opinion or when you'll come across some guy you've never met before who says things like "hopefully that [working two full time jobs] prevents you from getting pregnant when we cut birth control options from our insurance plans!" and I'm all like there's birth control? Because I've already been knocked up - three times!


You get my point. People are getting mean in this neck of the woods. Actually they've been mean for awhile now, but I don't want to dis all of Wisconsin because there's some pretty cool people here. Except for my neighbor Mary, and the guy who says I shouldn't get pregnant and a couple thousand others.

My point is we had nothing to talk about at the dinner table.

And the Bean was all um, I need money and I told her to get a job but she wasn't having it so instead she took Big V up on his offer to eat a jalepeno pepper for a dollar. Here's how that went:


She totally knew I was going to blog about this so she really should have held out for more cash. There is so much I need to teach her.

Comments

Ellen said…
Brave girl! Just seeing her face....ohhhh!! Yes, she should have held out for some bigger bucks.
Getrealmommy said…
Hmm. My husband still falls victim to this. He has a friend who will egg him on to eat jalapenos dipped in hotsauce rolled in red pepper flakes for $5. My smart partner in life falls for it every time.
Brenna said…
She's adorable. I love seeing the real-life yous.

Popular posts from this blog

The House that God Built

in·stan·ta·ne·ous /ˌinstənˈtānēəs/ adjective 1. occurring or done in an instant or instantly.
synonyms: immediate, instant, on-the-spot







The thing is, she died so sudden.
I didn't have the chance to plead with God, to make all the irrational promises. If he would just let her be okay.... I would start taking better care of my health. I would be nicer to the neighbor that drove me crazy. I would always let someone else go in front of me at Walmart no matter how long the line was. I wouldn't complain. Ever. I would volunteer at the Homeless Shelter. I would clean up after pigs. I would clip the toenails of the elderly. I would do anything and everything He would ask me to do....
There is a box on her death certificate that captures the amount of time between the initial injury and the time of death. It reads "seconds." I wish it read "instantaneous" because she deserves a clever word like that.
Fast forward five years.... definitely taking MUCH longer than "…

Seeing Avery All Grown Up

One day I'll tell you about the freezing cold we left and the heavy bags we lugged, full of supplies and medicines. I'll tell you about arriving in Port au Prince and walking across a cracked concrete parking lot to board an old school bus with a flat tire. How the heat was suffocating after months of below zero Wisconsin winter weather, how the people crowded and walked too close to moving traffic as we searched for a tire shop that was barely more than a couple men sitting on overturned 5-gallon buckets on the side of the road next to a pile of old tires, everything covered in dirt.

I'll tell you about waiting on the bus while they removed the tire and I'll recall the loud explosion that rocked the bus and scared the life out of me and how I was relieved to learn it was just the tire blowing after being filled too far. (They didn't have any gauges.) And then I'll tell you about the fear I felt when I realized we didn't have a tire and we were stuck on th…

When Your Imagined Life is Nothing Like This One

There were so many ways I imagined my adult life would be....THIS is not one of them.
I posted that on my Facebook wall last night. It might have been seen as funny except my choice of hashtags gave me away:
treading water getting nowhere piles of disappointment not many successes worn out and exhausted out of options

I always imagined my life would be thrilling. Full of exciting adventures and people from all over the world. I would dine at Ethiopian, Thai, and Indian restaurants. I would write books, teach English, coach forensics and direct the play. My husband would be charming and funny and not care about gender roles when it came to household chores. He would beg for at least six kids and I would fall in love with him all over again each time I caught him giving good life advice.
I would take photographs and travel the world documenting the people I came across. I would adopt a sibling group of three or maybe four and work on foster care policies because the ones we have aren't work…