Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Which reminds me...

I used a word in a recent post that got me thinking....

Years ago I started dating this guy. It was relatively early in our relationship when I accompanied him to a game night one of his friends was hosting. It would be the first time meeting this friend, and all other friends that were going to be there. I was nervous, but friendly, and was able to relax and enjoy the evening.

We started playing Catch Phrase... a game where you use words and examples to get your team to describe a particular word. It was my new boyfriend's turn. While I was not on his team, I was able to listen firsthand to every thing said and suggested.

"... uh, Phoenix has these... uh.... they're small... uh, not big.... "

(oh yes, the guessing went straight to boobs.)

"... uh, you know, they're small - not big..."

(yeah, yeah, we get it. I have small tits. Do we really need to do this?)

I was getting more and more red... the guests starting to look more and more uncomfortable...

Meanwhile the boyfriend knows time is quickly ticking away so he becomes louder and more animated in his quest to win:

"She's got two of these - small - not big - rounded - but just a little bit...."

They start giving timid, pity guesses: "Small thighs?" "Small hands?" "Small toes?"

"Come on, guys! Think! Round... Small... She's got two of these... They're not big..."

And the room is silent. No one is guessing anymore.

The girls are drinking from their wine glasses non-stop, unwilling to participate in whatever is happening; the guys are looking awkardly around the room, suddenly interested in the ceramic rooster sitting on an end table.

But the boyfriend is completely unaware, yelling "ROUNDED! SMALL! SHE'S GOT TWO OF THEM! THEY'RE SMALL!"

I want to crawl in a hole and die....

Thank gawd the timer FINALLY went off and the boyfriend - completely exasperated, throws up his hands and yells, "MOUNDS! Come on, guys! The word was MOUND!"

After several hours of awkwardness (ok, it was probably only two seconds, but it felt like forever) one of the guys spoke up: "baseball. the pitcher stands on it."

(Reflecting back after our failed two year relationship, I would label this event as "Red Flag #1.")

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