Thursday, May 28, 2009

water... please...

While cleaning at my grandmother's house I found myself getting increasingly dizzy. More than likely the result of going up and down a step ladder attempting to wash shelving and walls, and the ever enlarging offspring hanging out in my womb, cutting off vital circulation. I'd pause for a moment, take a few deep breaths, and continue on. But then it got to a point where I literally felt the walls closing in on me and the floor started to slip beneath my feet. Clawing my way to the living room, I did my best to mimic the whole head between your knees thing (yeah, right...). Luckily I was not alone:

Bean: What's wrong ma? Are you okay?

About to Pass Out Mother: ...no... I need water... get me water...

Bean: What's wrong with you?

APOM: (struggling to breath) ... I just need some water.... please....

Bean: (sitting down comfortably in the cozy chair across from me) It's kind of hot in here, don'tcha think? Great-gramma should open some windows.

APOM: (head still dropped between legs, hands on head) ... water...

Bean: So how long are we going to be here cleaning?

APOM: ... please... water... get Grandma... someone...

Bean: I'll go see if I can find Nana. [note: Nana is the nickname she gave my sister many moons ago, who, at the time, was outside painting.]

As I continued to sit hunched over, pleading with God to puh-lease stop the room from spinning, and to stop the blinding light from taking over my brain function, I was able to hear Bean & Nana conversing outside. Keep in mind that Nana was busy on the exterior scraping & painting crew...

Bean: Hey, Nana. My mom wants some water.

Nana: Well, there's this thing that every house has -- it's called a faucet.



Meanwhile I sat wishing someone, anyone would please come in and find me. I was getting clammy, sweating, yet cold, my head hurt, I couldn't breathe, and I did not want to pass out since I have this fear that if I pass out I'll lose all control of my bodily functions and who wants to be found by their never-let-it-drop cousin on the floor in soiled shorts?

Bean: yeah, Nana wouldn't help me....

APOM: jesus christ! just get me some water!

(yeah, I found some renewed strength for that one.) And just like that Big V was at my side!

V: Are you okay?

APOM: (now actually crying; head still as far between the knees as I could stick it) No. I'm not. I feel dizzy and I want some water! I just want some water!

V: Okay. I'll go get you some.


After waiting a few minutes my mom came in, took one look at me, asked if I was ok, ran back to the kitchen and brought back the most refreshing glass of tap water ever brought to my lips. I sat up and was able to see Big V in the car... exiting the driveway...

Ten minutes later he returned with a bottle of water he purchased from the nearest gas station.

I can not wait until I go into labor.


[As a disclaimer, V wants you all to know he is not an idiot. He was simply concerned that the country well water was not potable, and therefore the safest option was purchasing safe drinking water from a gas station. He does love me and cares very deeply about my health, as well as the safety and well being of our child. Besides, while there he only bought a few dollars worth of PowerBall tickets, and had we actually won the $230 million jackpot, we would have enough bottled water to share with an entire third world country, and then no one would think poorly of him at all.]

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