Friday, May 22, 2009

Day 3 of the Domestic Sabbatical

A sabbatical was used by professionals once every seven years to devote to research and learning, and I have learned so much in such a little time.

Last night the Phenominal Moms gathered around for our bi-weekly rebalancing fix... I gotta tell you, if you don't have a group of strong, positive women - drop everything you're doing and go find them. Find them NOW. Look everywhere, and if you don't find them, just keep looking. Do not stop until you find amazing women who you can draw positive energy from.

Our topic focus last night was control.

As in... forcing your future husband to conform to your ways of cleaning and maintaing a house? Gee, I might not have much to say about this issue.... (as I sit sweating in the guilt that's currently smothering me).

Yep, yes, absolutely - I admit, I am controlling. Housekeeping drives me crazy. Why? Because I don't like to do it. I like the results, the sparkling countertops and shiny floor... I don't like scrubbing and sweeping and mopping. I don't want to do it. I recognize I have to do some of it. I accept that I have to partake in the process, but I want others to help me.

And I want them to help me my way.

It's so obvious to me that I feel it should be really obvious to them. Find something out of place and put it away. See a mess and clean it up. Going up the stairs and there's a pen lying in your path - pick it up! (And then put it away.) Big V prefers the "run through the house for an hour or less forcing things back into place a la superhero style, and then forget about cleaning for the rest of the day." My way seems to be a long, drawn out, on-going, constant vigil, never finish approach. (Wow. Writing it out that way does not make it look like something anyone would choose to partake in.)

Big V also does things, uh, backwards. He did the dishes and spread out six dish towels along the counter... each bowl and plate got it's own individual space. Why didn't he spread out only two towels and then lean the dishes and plates against each other? Totally would've saved space... there I go... trying to control again.

Although it's early on I'm starting to think the "research" I'm doing is going to be less about him and more about me. It's ok to do things differently but six towels instead of two... can I handle it? Will I be able to give up my control and trust that he, as my potential partner for life, can and will, meet and possibly exceed what is needed in our house?

** By the way, Big V sprayed the lawn and the majority of dandelions are gone! I knew his hatred for all things weed related was one of the many reasons I fell in love with him...

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