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Oh, What a Nasty Webb!

Dear Mrs. Webb,

I understand you're upset. For what particular reason, I can only guess. Understanding your position that the Sate of Wisconsin requires municipalities to conduct certain inspections to your property for the purpose of ensuring it is safe to live in is asinine, unnecessary and a waste of tax payers money, I invite you to consider something a little different....

What if these required inspections catch a construction error that saves your 4-year old granddaughter from getting her head stuck in between the deck railings and strangling herself? Or catch a wiring error and your home doesn't start on fire causing the smoke inhalation death of your husband of the last 43 years?

From your cuss-laden tirade on the phone this morning I understand that safety is not really a priority to you, but - and this may come as a surprise to you, sitting on the receiving end of your angry and ignorant (and unbelievably loud) commentary is not exactly MY priority. So, it was with due respect that I hung up on your crabby ass. Yes, that's right. I hung up. Cut you off. On purpose, even. No accident there, I can assure you. I do think it was a nice gesture on my part to forewarn you with "I apologize that you will find this offensive --" and look forward to you contacting my boss. (But I'm not really that scared because you yelled at our Treasurer for twelve minutes before she was able to transfer you to me... you've got quite the reputation among our office.)


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in·stan·ta·ne·ous /ˌinstənˈtānēəs/ adjective 1. occurring or done in an instant or instantly.
synonyms: immediate, instant, on-the-spot

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