Wednesday, December 1, 2010

It's Beginning to Look a LOT Like Christmas. Right?

The Blessed Family has been incarcerated.

Visiting hours are on Wednesdays from 4pm-6pm and Saturdays from 1pm-5pm. Positive ID is required. Please note you must be on the visitors list. If you aren't on the visitation list you will not be allowed access to visit the inmate. God Bless, Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays.

I suppose it is possible the plexiglass containment is for their own safety. Why people take off with the Baby Jesus from these displays I'll never understand. I think the lamb would be funnier. Look, Margaret! There's a lamb in our shower! That would totally make someone come running. But hey, check out Baby Jesus in our tub! just gets you Really, Henry? Baby Jesus? Go put that thing back in the park.

In other news, I'm contemplating becoming an Amish Jew because I'm tired of chasing the kid who keeps turning the TV off and knocking ornaments off the tree.

My 15-month old has learned how to turn the television off. And on. And off again. And on again. And off. And on. And - annoyed yet? Yeah, I thought you'd understand. When he's not flicking the tv on and off he's running over to the Christmas tree to shake the ornaments off. Don't bother telling me that any mother in their right mind would make sure the ornaments are on the upper half of the tree because they are. The problem comes in the fact that we don't have what one would consider a normal Christmas tree. Instead of an evergreen we decorated an artifical ficus, thus the natural, prickly, needled buffer along the bottom is missing. The kid can easily get his grubby little paws around that tree trunk and shake the sucker until things start dropping. If ever we're stranded on an island I'm sure he'll succeed in the coconut grab but until then someone needs to stop the little monkey. I leave that to Dotter. Here's how she keeps him occupied (although unsanitary, it seems to work):

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