Tweet Last night I received a text from my older, wiser sister. But only older by 16 months. And only wiser by 16 points on the ACT. (Lies. I don't really know the ACT difference. At this point in my life I'm not even sure I've ever taken the ACT.) (I am, however, certain I took some military test that told me I'd be perfect as some sort of small weapons mechanic-y person. I took that to mean the test was bogus and the Army just needed someone to fill some slots.) (I went into a position where I did administrative work.) (But I digress.)
Here is our texted conversation:
Sister: It's the 'damn, I washed another kleenex time of year'. Third load of laundry I've had to pick pieces off while I fold. And no one to blame but me.
Me: That's exactly why I'm a staunch proponent of using sleeves.
Sister: I don't know why I put them in my pocket anyway. I grab a new one almost every time and end up emptying my pockets because they get too full.
Me: Shove them up the cuff of your sleeve. When you take the shirt off it'll rain tissue. Use enough and they'll work their way up to your chest.
Me: Make sure you stuff kleenexes equally between both sleeves... you could end up half 36DD and half 36A.
Sister: Of course, at first I'll just look like Hans and Franz from Saturday Night Live.
Me: Then we could record video of you and post it to YouTube. We'd totally be considered cool.
Sister: Did you run that by the girls (aka "cool police") because I'm thinking you might be wrong about that.
Me: Have you seen some of those videos that go ridiculously viral? Uneven boobs would totally take the pubescent market.
... and this is why everyone should have a sister to talk to...