Skip to main content

Okey Dokey, Dang Nabbit!

As a condition of my employment I'm required to attend meetings. Evening meetings. You know, meetings held during that time when you'd rather be at home picking your toenails while criticizing American Idol candidates and plotting how you're going to successfully convince your husband to run to the store to get a tube of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls just because you have a craving.

Anyway, some meetings offer a change of scenery - ooh! We're in the big conference room tonight! Some offer baked goodies. Oh, wait. Actually none of them do. In any case, all of them evoke the passing thought of I'd rather be doing anything other than sitting here doing this. But we have to look all professional and be aware that there are reporters in the room ready to pounce at any given second and the last thing you want to have happen is be featured on the front page sleeping.

Well, not anymore, pilgrims! I've just stumbled upon how to make even the most mind-numbing meeting so fun and exciting y'all will be clamoring to be a part of it! And, contrary to your initial thought, it does not involve nudity.

So this is what happens: at the start of every public meeting, the players (audience members and office staff) will receive two secret words or phrases - the words will not be disclosed to the voting officials of that meeting's quorum. Players will then earn points for proper use of the secret words or phrases throughout the meeting. The secret words or phrases must be used in a complete sentence when addressing official members and cannot be randomly yelled out or counted if being directed towards a non-voting person. A running score is kept for all players throughout the year. The player who uses the secret words or phrases most often, thus earning the most points, wins.

However, if a voting official believes they know the secret word or phrase for a particular meeting they must, stand up and yell their guess at the top of their lungs. Much like an excited kid playing Uno. If correct, all players totals earned for that meeting with the correctly guessed word or phrase are then wiped to zero and there is no more chance to earn points on that word or phrase.

Tonight's top secret words are:

Okey Dokey!


Dang nabbit!

It is important that the top secret words chosen are both interesting yet not too unusal. They must encourage unusual and creative use by the players while not appearing too obvious to the Voting Officials. (Remember, if correctly guessed, totals earned on the phrase for that meeting are reduced to zero.)

However, an unusual term also challenges the players. For instance, let's say the secret term was snollygoster (a person who can't be trusted, especially a politician, who is guided by personal advantage rather than by consistent, respectable principles). Obviously, if a person in the audience stands up under Visitors to be Heard and says I think you're a snollygoster a Voting Official is going to guess that word right away. However, if approached delicately, for example, hidden within a compliment - as in I just wanted to say Thank You for all your hard work. I know that many people complain about politicians; they're untrustworthy, they're only thinking about themselves, they're just a bunch of snollygosters - but I think you all do wonderful work. I, for one, am very excited about the increase in taxes, so, again, thank you! it just might work.  


Popular posts from this blog

The House that God Built

in·stan·ta·ne·ous /ˌinstənˈtānēəs/ adjective 1. occurring or done in an instant or instantly.
synonyms: immediate, instant, on-the-spot

The thing is, she died so sudden.
I didn't have the chance to plead with God, to make all the irrational promises. If he would just let her be okay.... I would start taking better care of my health. I would be nicer to the neighbor that drove me crazy. I would always let someone else go in front of me at Walmart no matter how long the line was. I wouldn't complain. Ever. I would volunteer at the Homeless Shelter. I would clean up after pigs. I would clip the toenails of the elderly. I would do anything and everything He would ask me to do....
There is a box on her death certificate that captures the amount of time between the initial injury and the time of death. It reads "seconds." I wish it read "instantaneous" because she deserves a clever word like that.
Fast forward five years.... definitely taking MUCH longer than "…

Seeing Avery All Grown Up

One day I'll tell you about the freezing cold we left and the heavy bags we lugged, full of supplies and medicines. I'll tell you about arriving in Port au Prince and walking across a cracked concrete parking lot to board an old school bus with a flat tire. How the heat was suffocating after months of below zero Wisconsin winter weather, how the people crowded and walked too close to moving traffic as we searched for a tire shop that was barely more than a couple men sitting on overturned 5-gallon buckets on the side of the road next to a pile of old tires, everything covered in dirt.

I'll tell you about waiting on the bus while they removed the tire and I'll recall the loud explosion that rocked the bus and scared the life out of me and how I was relieved to learn it was just the tire blowing after being filled too far. (They didn't have any gauges.) And then I'll tell you about the fear I felt when I realized we didn't have a tire and we were stuck on th…

When Your Imagined Life is Nothing Like This One

There were so many ways I imagined my adult life would be....THIS is not one of them.
I posted that on my Facebook wall last night. It might have been seen as funny except my choice of hashtags gave me away:
treading water getting nowhere piles of disappointment not many successes worn out and exhausted out of options

I always imagined my life would be thrilling. Full of exciting adventures and people from all over the world. I would dine at Ethiopian, Thai, and Indian restaurants. I would write books, teach English, coach forensics and direct the play. My husband would be charming and funny and not care about gender roles when it came to household chores. He would beg for at least six kids and I would fall in love with him all over again each time I caught him giving good life advice.
I would take photographs and travel the world documenting the people I came across. I would adopt a sibling group of three or maybe four and work on foster care policies because the ones we have aren't work…