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I'd like 14 hours of sleep and 4 cups of coffee, please.

I'm tired. Like, really tired. And I have nothing accomplished and no time to accomplish anything and I have four rows left to knit to finish this really cute dishcloth and my books are overdue from the library and - hello?! This is ME. The girl who can read two books in a weekend and I'm not even halfway done? And the dishes are piled up and the laundry is so bad we can't even get down the basement steps (because no one can take the clothes all the way down the stairs to the washing machine, golly no - just chuck them down the stairwell and sooner or later it magically clears) and I keep thinking of these great blog post topics except by the time I sit down in front of a computer my mind is blank and all I can hear is Mom! You forgot about my ortho appointment! We need to be there in ten minutes! Of course you do, kid. Of course you do.

The ironic part is I was wanting to do this bible study at our church about simplifying your life. Not taking on so much so that you can live in the present.

Except then I agreed to do this show. And the rehearsals are Monday through Thursdays from 7:00-10:00pm. And I still have my full time job until 5:00pm. Which means in order to get to rehearsal on time I have to leave my house by 6:00pm, which means I have exactly one hour to gather kids, feed kids, maybe go to the bathroom and try to eat something before I leave. And I'm perfectly okay with eating while I'm going to the bathroom, my standards have dropped that low.

And Big V is is incredibly annoying because life is always sunshiney and cheery and lovely and don't you feel great doing something that you love and don't worry about the house - who cares what it looks like and also he's a rockstar because he's been working like a mad man monring, noon and night which means maybe we'll be able to pay his stupid truck loan off and that would be awesome. And that whole bit just reminds me how much of a simplified, living in the moment type of person he is and ----

holy buckets! He totally does not need to take that class. But I do.

I do.

Because for some reason I'm beating myself up because my house is atrocious. And in all honesty it's not that bad. Things are picked up and floors are vacuumed and as long as you didn't open the door to the basement you'd never know how behind I am on the laundry.

And, yes. I am able to do something that I love. Because people who love me support me. They make sure my kids are watched and fed and tucked into bed. They don't gripe about what the house looks like. They don't make me feel bad about not scrubbing the shower walls.

Except I'm still tired.

Very tired.

Comments

Tina, said…
Hello! You have a teenager in your house and you ARE the parent. BTW taht means you have the power to make teenager's lives living hell if they don't help you. I have no problems threatening my teenager to get results. Why, he even picks up dog droppings when I start making treats on his social life, use of the car and cash! See no class needed!

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