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Showing posts from October 2, 2011

Another Quality Conversation with the Teen

Our house is not pretty. In fact, it's pretty plain and boring. A single story ranch with ugly brown trim. It wasn't even brown, really. More like the color of rust. The ugly brown trim was peeling paint which made it look even worse. In fact, that's how I gave directions: we're the corner house with ugly brown trim. They always found us.

We updated the trim to a more neutral, less gaudy color and added shutters for some aesthetic appeal. (Window boxes will be next, if I can figure out where to get decent ones for under $200 a piece.) Not huge changes, I'll admit, but surely noticeable, one would think.

Bean, you haven't said anything about the house.

What about the house?

The outside.

What about the outside?

What? Go out and look at it.  [forces teenager outside]



Well what?

Do you like it?

Umm.... yeah.

The color. It's a new color. That's why that guy with the big painting van was parked outside our house.

Oh. OH! Yeah, I like it. It's nice.


How to Win a War: Stay one step ahead of the competition. Which, clearly, I am not.

Hey, Dad! Guess what? Remember how we took out that scrub brush from by the street? On the other side of the garage? By the lilac bushes? There are sunflowers growing there! The girls noticed them the other day! Can you believe it?!
Maybe someone planted them as a joke.
Who would plant sunflowers as a joke? No one plants flowers as a joke.
We used to back home. When someone left we'd plant something in their garden and wait for them to find it.
Did you plant sunflowers in my yard as a joke?
(stifles laughter) No... I'm just saying that some people would do that....

I feel like this is a good time to point out that my parent's back yard is massive. Like regulation football field massive. And it's neatly (and proudly) mowed and trimmed. With beautiful gardens bordering the yard, which is big and wide and all smooth cut grass.... like a blanket of velvet.
I wonder if Dad likes corn. I'm picturing three or four cornstalks sprouting up from the exact center of his manicured…

How can I hate you? I hardly know you at all.

Long story short: although I did absolutely nothing in high school that was memorable or newsworthy, I still felt it important to have a class reunion. Mostly because I like cheese. And there is always cheese at reunions. I was never on Student Council. I was never an honor student. Or a popular kid. Or a cool kid. Or a pretty kid. I was just a random teenager trying to figure out my place within the High School Galaxay.

Surprise! I found out I didn't belong there. Just like all the other kids in high school -- because you're not meant to stay in high school. You're meant to grow up and mature and find yourself and stop throwing french fries at the dorky guy who walks past you on his way to get his fifth carton of chocolate milk.

I'm not sure who was relegated with the duty of reunion planning but no one did anything about it for 16 years. That's when me and this other guy joined forces and planned an impromptu gathering at our local Legion Hall. Reminiscent of ou…