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Showing posts from August 7, 2011

20 Years Later

My 20-year high school reunion is this weekend which means I totally am going to have to shave my legs. Which sucks because, let's face it, the dark growth makes my legs appear tan from a distance.

I'm totally not caring that I look like I'm carrying around a 6-month old fetus. There's spanx for that.

I'm also not worrying about Big V running into any of my old knocking boots buddies because (1) I was a lady, people, and (2) I always made sure to hook up with people from other school districts in an effort to avoid the awkward 20-years later convo held over the tray of imported cheeses with our respective spouses picking up on the tension.

I am, however, incredibly nervous about two potentially embarrassing situations that would just about kill me:

(a.) Walking around the entire time with food stuck in my teeth and/or a booger coming out of my nose and not one person telling me. Once I sat around at work and laughed and chit-chatted for an entire afternoon before …

May I kindly suggest on-line registration?

Yesterday was school registration day. Every kid registering in the entire school district goes to the high school and registers. There were areas set up for each of the three elementary schools, one for the middle school and also the high school.

Registration was all day long. But ended at six. Which was so incredibly thoughtful for those of us who work until 5pm.

Here's how I managed:

5:00pm - leave work. Car doesn't start right away. Curse the living daylights out of it. "Flood" the sucker and try again. It works. Only old farm trucks and cars built before 1980 start this way. My vehicle is neither of those. Curse the car once more for good measure.

5:07pm - pick up Cletus from the sitters. It's raining.

5:10pm - Cletus smells like shit. Yell to back seat, "did you poop?" His response: "Pee yuck."

5:12pm - receive frantic text from the Bean: "I look like a hobo. Are you almost here?"

5:18pm - pull into drive, forget the garage…