Tweet Yesterday was school registration day. Every kid registering in the entire school district goes to the high school and registers. There were areas set up for each of the three elementary schools, one for the middle school and also the high school.
Registration was all day long. But ended at six. Which was so incredibly thoughtful for those of us who work until 5pm.
Here's how I managed:
5:00pm - leave work. Car doesn't start right away. Curse the living daylights out of it. "Flood" the sucker and try again. It works. Only old farm trucks and cars built before 1980 start this way. My vehicle is neither of those. Curse the car once more for good measure.
5:07pm - pick up Cletus from the sitters. It's raining.
5:10pm - Cletus smells like shit. Yell to back seat, "did you poop?" His response: "Pee yuck."
5:12pm - receive frantic text from the Bean: "I look like a hobo. Are you almost here?"
5:18pm - pull into drive, forget the garage door is on manual. It's downpouring. Get soaked running into the house. Attempt to change flailing baby.
5:25pm - pull out of driveway. Call the Bean. "Oh, we're actually at the arboretum. We didn't feel like waiting at my Dad's." Turn right instead of going straight. Wonder who "we" consists of.
5:27pm - pull into arboretum. "Why are you standing out in the rain like homeless people?" Find out "we" is a friend. Realize the Bean can't do anything without a buddy. She's 16. Life is like that.
5:28pm - pull out of arboretum and drive towards school. Remember I have another daughter who will be dropped off at home at 5:30pm. Yell out, "OH, SHIT!"
5:29pm - speed towards home; get caught at a stupid intersection where it's impossible to cross. Start muttering under my breath.
5:32pm - pull back into drive. Realize Dotter is not back yet, thank God. She should be there any second. We shall wait.
5:38pm - Call. Inquire where Dotter is. They're just leaving. Ask to meet at high school instead. Speed out of driveway and drive as fast as humanly possible to high school.
5:42pm - pull into school parking lot. Seemingly one spot left. Looks about three miles away at the farthest end of the parking lot. Grab Cletus and attempt to carry him through flooding parking lot as he's squirming and flailing about while yelling, "STUCK! STUCK!" which is his way of telling me he wants to get down.
5:44pm - while walking into the school remember that I still have to get Dotter. Why do I keep forgetting about her? Wait under dripping canopy with crazy Cletus.
5:46pm - Dotter arrives. Cletus decides he's going to walk (s.l.o.w.l.y.) all the way to the cafeteria. Lost track of the Bean and Friend. Dotter whines because her bag is too heavy. Cletus runs in opposite direction.
5:48pm - Enter cafeteria. Wait in line. Cletus screams for no reason and falls to ground with dramatical flair. Dotter gets red and hisses mom, DO SOMETHING! Lady at first registration table takes my papers (already completely filled out, thankyouverymuch) and rolls her eyes. "This table is for sophomores. Your child is a junior."
5:49pm - Cletus is still on the floor screaming, "NO! NO! NO!" Run over to junior table and toss papers towards it. Dotter hisses louder MOM! DO SOMETHING!
5:50pm - drag Cletus by the arm across newly buffed cafeteria floor. He's laughing because he's sliding across and it's fun. Dotter whines, "I can't carry my bag; it's too heavy." Double back and grab bag. Holy shit, it's heavy.
5:51pm - stand in tremendously long line to await payment of registration fees. Thank the good Lord above that Bean has no interest in sports because that would mean another freaking line.