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Showing posts from August 29, 2010

WARNING: Not for the faint of heart. Or boys.

When I was growing up in the hellish halls of teen angst otherwise known as High School, I knew girls whose parents allowed them to stay home when they had their period. (Don't look at me like that - I warned you in the post title.) As in, spend the day on the couch enjoying the comforts of a hot water bottle and some Tylenol while watching Days of Our Lives. Followed by General Hospital. Which was on right before Donahue. When they came back to school they had a note relieving them from participating from gym class. What was wrong with these parents, buying into this obvious nonsense?

You know what I thought? FAKERS. Every. single. one. I had my period, too. It took three days from start to finish and I used maybe 5 tampons.

I never understood the whispers of the girls' voices from under the bathroom stall, "Oh my gawd! I can't believe I just got my period! Do you have a tampon? I don't have anything!" What do you mean you don't have anything? Are you s…

Would YOU Get the Baby?

My office phone rang at noon:


Um, hello?

Heh-woah. Id's me - Big V. I'm sick. Leavin' work. I feel like crap. I can't breathe.


I already puked twice. My head is killing me. I keep coughing so hard I'm afraid I'm going to start coughing up blood.


I can't even breathe through my nose, but it keeps running - I've blown my nose so much today. It's ridiculous.


So, I told the boss I couldn't work anymore. Usually I just work through it - but this, this is different. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never felt this sick before. My head is dizzy and I keep feeling like I'm going to pass out.


Do you want me to pick up the baby?



Half an hour later the my office phone rang again:


Um, hello?

Heh-woah. Id's me - Big V. I'm at WalMart.


I wanna get some medicine so I can feel better.


But I don't know what to get. There's like, a whole aisle full of different stuff and I don'…

Being a Caterpillar

There's my Dotter. The caterpillar. She wanted to audition for a play.
Uh... but people will see you. And look at you. And laugh at the lines. And you'll think they're laughing at you. And these will be people you don't know. Strangers. And you won't be able to crawl under the couch. Or duck your head. Or refuse to speak. Or retreat into your other world where only you exist.
So. I prayed. And took her. And crossed my fingers.
And there she is.
Not only as the caterpillar...
But also as one of the birds:
and as one of the flowers...

But my favorite was the caterpillar.
Because she wasn't in a group. And she had to be so brave.
And she didn't hide. Or cower. Or hate life because she was forced to talk.
She was the best caterpillar that I ever saw.

I almost forgot that this was the little girl who didn't talk.
I almost forgot that this was the little girl we have to remind to look people in the eyes during a conversation.
I almost forgot that this was the little girl we have t…