Tweet I only like to take the baby outside for five minutes between 5:00pm and 5:05pm because that way I don't have to mess around with applying sunscreen or insect repellant, because we all know that stuff will soak into the blood stream and make a baby nuts. Plus, you really ought to wash that stuff off eventually so they don't lick it and, well, let's face it, I'm quite lazy. The kid has a lot of toys in the living room so he's completely entertained and doesn't even mind never go outside in the elements. Friends of ours even lent us this baby cage (decorated in bright primary colors so you don't feel so guilty about keeping your small child locked in a 4'x4' area) that he hasn't quite figured out how to climb out of, and he really enjoys his time in there so I wouldn't be surprised if he's still sitting in it when he's 8.
Anyway, I decided to take the baby outside the other day - due to the fact I took one of those grown-up multi-vitamin tablets for women, and Dotter was so surprised she followed us out. "Mama! What are you doing? You're taking the baby outside? He'll melt!" but I was bound and determined to show this 10-month old what the world looked like.
"See," I pointed out lovingly. "Those are garbage cans. Your Daddy doesn't like to bring them back into the garage so they stay there at the end of the driveway until Mommy reminds him that we're not a bunch of hillbillies."
Then I showed him the dent in the side of my car which was parked in the driveway. "That's where Daddy's motorcycle fell in the passenger door. Can you say kickstand malfunction?"
Then I pointed over to the weeds growing up along the entire front of the garage. "These are weeds," I explained, plucking one off it's stem and tickling the baby's cheek. "Weeds are icky. Weeds are bad."
And that's when I glanced over and saw Dotter pluck a long stemmed weed and stick it in her mouth. "Mom," she asked, puffing at the end of the plant like it was a cigarette. "Is this what they mean when people smoke weed?"
Now. I've been a mother for many years now and I know not to get upset and panicky when things like this come up. I reminded myself that I should hold off jumping to conclusions and ask questions.
"Um, where have you heard that phrase before? - 'Smoke weed'?"
"From Jelly Bean."
"Oh. Where was she when she said that?"
"In her room. She was talking to her friend about a mean girl from their school and said she was really bad because she smokes weed."
Now, I know an educational moment when I see one so I wasn't about to let it go to waste: "Well, it is bad. Weed is very bad. And that's why I don't want it at my house. And I think the right thing to do is to remove all this weed along the garage. And when you see it growing you should pull it out right away."
She said she would.