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Showing posts from August 8, 2010

To the North!

The last time I was on a vacation with my children was never. Unless you count that one time when Big V somehow convinced me that we were going to have a swell time at a resort hotel with his family. And by family I mean his mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, their two kids, his other sister, his other brother-in-law, and their four kids. With an adjoining door between our room and one of theirs. And the resort hotel was geared for kids under the age of 5, which I didn't have. I don't need to tell you that was anything but a vacation. It was more like a flesh eating bacteria. That you could see. But couldn't stop. Kids everywhere. Upset kids everywhere. And upset adults because no one wanted to watch the upset kids. And it took three hours to decide where to eat dinner. And I only wanted to relax, because being a single mom for the majority of my adult life I've never gone on a vacation so all I wanted to do was sit, and yet somehow it was mandated that I go shopping wh…

Food on a Stick

Many years ago, before scores of mosquitoes had taken over our land, and humans were able to walk the earth without the threat of West Nile virus, I took my (then) little girl for a walk. We went through the back yard, into the woods DEET free, and followed the trail that led to this beautiful little pond in a clearing in the middle of the woods.

The pond was clear and full of fish. There was a small boat holding hands with an old wooden dock, rocking gently with the summer breeze. I pointed out the tiny, one bedroom cabin, with its miniature porch and tiny windows.

I took the hand of my 4-year old daughter and led her across the clearing, closer to the edge of the water. I showed her a dragon fly dancing in front of us and asked her to listen to the chorus of frogs. And we stood, hand-in-hand, Mother and Daughter, amongst the natural beauty of God's world.

And then she screamed.

She screamed and screamed and pointed and screamed and I tried to ask this hysterical child what th…

Up's and Down's: How to Fix a Garage Door in Less Than One Year

For over a year our garage door has not worked. You know, the big overhead door that opens allowing one to pull the car into the garage and park. I guess technically it worked. I mean, it opened. But only manually. Man-u-ally. Meaning "Man, you really have to put forth some physical effort to make this thing work." And you all know how I feel about physical effort.

Throughout my entire pregnancy, throughout the entire winter, throughout all kinds of terrible weather, I had to pull in the driveway, put the car in park, get out of the car, walk to the garage, lean down, heft the sucker up (sucker being the big overhead garage door), walk back to the car, get back into the car, put the car in drive, drive forward, and park. You see how utterly exhausting that can be. Especially being forced to do it day in and day out, several times a day.

I come from the old school where the Man should naturally possess knowledge as to (1) why the door isn't opening when I click the littl…