Opposites Attract

Big V was in the hospital for three days. Two nights. Three days. His leg almost fell off. And he didn't call anyone. In fact, he announced (quite sternly, I might add) that "I'm going to call one person and one person only - and that's my boss to tell him I won't be in tomorrow; I won't have any visitors." Then he warned me that he would not under any circumstances tolerate any facebooking, twittering or blogging about his adventures. Wha-?! But I live for this stuff! Especially when the nurse blew out his vein he went, "woah... hold on... now I'm dizzy..." I started snapping pictures - but then he threatened to call security if I continued. He was serious, too.

That's one major difference between Big V and me. I would be mass texting while the nurse was playing with my veins. When I was in labor with Cletus the Used to be Fetus I instructed the nurse to feel free to jot down anything blogworthy. As they were rushing me to the operating room for the emergency c-section I yelled out, "Grab my phone! I need to change my facebook status!" Those nurses grabbed everything but my phone. It's so hard to get good help.

But back to V. Here he sits in a hospital for three days. Days filled with spirited nurses telling him about how they favor Pantene Shampoo products over anything else (but only when there's a coupon, because that stuff is expensive), and the doctor who checked on his leg and gushed about how good it looked (only to be told that it was, uh, the other leg that was the bad one), and the patient next door who kept yelling get out of my house, whydoncha! and I wasn't allowed to blog about any of it. I had to sit there. And conversate. And not take notes because everytime I did he'd give me the stink eye and say, "you are not putting that on the internet."

Now that he's been home (leg still attached) I asked if I could please, pretty please, please mention some of the fun that was had and he said I could. But I'm not allowed to tell you anything about the sponge bath.