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Fearing Nutella: The Truth Behind The Panic

I may have mentioned that I have never tried Nutella. After which 417 of my closest facebook friends posted I was missing out on the best food invention the world has ever created. Essentially, they said, Nutella can be used anywhere on anything at anytime. In fact, it was so delicious that I could just grab a heaping spoonful and eat it as is.

But I'm not buying it. And here's why....

Nutella, meet Vegemite.

They are eerily similar in color and consistency.

They both get spread on toast.

I've tasted Vegemite before... and I refuse to be suckered into letting anything that remotely resembles that yeasty spread touch my tastebuds ever again.


Robyn said…
The battle of concentrated chemicals and conglomerated ingredients that get preserved to the extent of having a shelf life of a Twinkie. Whether hazelnut based, yeast based or lard injected, the mere fact that they do not rot, mold, stink or fall apart after having a shelf life of 100 years should be enough to frighten even the most gluttonist of persons. In the alternative however... I ponder whether there is medical research supporting the fact our bodies absorb the ingredients of foods that don't age in such a manner that our cells adapt to their characteristics. Could we perhaps evolve to be as timeless and invincible as a Mc'Ds french fry? Has Ronald found the fountain of youth in a vat of grease? Is San Francisco dooming their popoulation to premature aging through regulation of french fries? Ahhh, the devil's advocate argues...
Brenna said…
Oh honey, I adore this blog but you are dead wrong. Vegemite/Marmite are clearly sent from hell, or from under the rotting carcass of a long-beached sea mammal. Nutella is of the Gods. I wouldn't steer you wrong here. And buying a jar isn't going to get you excommunicated from Whole Foods or turn you into a glutton. It will fill your mouth with smooth hazelnut magic.
I think these comments have left me in stitches as much as the post. I thought Nutella was something only found spread on croissants in Europe. When I saw it on the shelf at Piggly Wiggly next to Jiffy, it sort of lost it's glamour.

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