Friday, December 18, 2009

All because...

Remember, kids, that your choices today may still serve up consequences in the future.

Take me, for instance. One minute I'm envisioning a quaint painted wall in my living room with three framed photos of my beautiful children under one of those cute little painted plaques that say "...all because two people fell in love..." -- the next minute I'm doing an internet search for "all because two people had unprotected sex wall signs."

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

School Suggestion

I think schools should serve alcoholic drinks at their Christmas Programs. That way you'll be concentrating more on what you're going to order next than the fact that for the past twelve minutes you haven't understood a darn word of what those kids are mumbling into the microphone.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

All I Want For Christmas...

The actual Christmas Lists from the girls:

Good Christmas Gift Ideas for Dotter

1. Bob It [Bop It]
2. Alarm Clock (pink one)
3. Are family to have a good Christmas
4. Workout Station
5. Baby hamstir (rill one) [real one]
6. Bunk bed (blue one on budum [bottom] and pink on top)
7. Easy back oven [Easy Bake Oven]
8. mini fridge
9. mini frezzer [freezer]
10. Bathroom in my room.
11. Squeashy brushes [squishy hair brushes]
12. The new barbie house!!!!!
13. American Girl Doll Book: Smart Girls Guide to Saving Money
14. Movie Board that has "ACTION" on it.
15. Zue Zue Pets (any kind) [Zhu Zhu Pets]
16. Barbarque chips
17. Mor mermades (the new ones) [More Mermaids]
18. Mind Flexs!!!
19. CD Player for Dotter. Only Dotter.
20. Karoake CDs
21. A new DS
22. New games for my DS.



Jelly Bean's xmas list:

*Illumina 2 sided lighted make-up mirror (Conair)
* Gift card to Sally Hansen (Sally Beauty Supply)
*Fantasy by Brittney Spears
*Money (to spend on a hair appt.)

Please Leave. Now.

Ok, Cream Colored Shawl Girl, it is time that you leave our office. I just can't handle it anymore. Stop saying "like" between every fourth word. That went out in the eighties. I've counted 78 times that you've slapped your thighs. That's annoying, too. You should probably breathe more, you know, between your incessant rambling. Although, I'm assuming your loud sighs at the end of your tragic monologues is what provides you adequate oxygen to continue. (Lucky us.) And I'm glad you finally noticed that huge green smudge over your right breast but you did not have to stand in front of my male co-worker attempting to rub it off for the last three minutes.