Stumbling Towards Perfect

I pull the car over to the curb so Dotter, Bean and I can view the beautiful Christmas decorations on this one particular house. It had strings of lights everywhere... and a sign posted that directed us to tune our radio to a particular station. Sure enough the lights dance and jump in time to the music. It's beyond beautiful. There wasn't a section of this home and yard that didn't have a light flashing, mesmorizing... after several quiet moments Bean perks up: "Hey! Listen! The lights match the music! That's cool!" I tell her they're supposed to. That's the point. They coordinate the lights to turn on and off in time with whatever song is on the radio. She was obviously impressed as she sat open-mouthed, watching. After a few minutes she asked, "Doesn't his arms get tired? All that plugging and unplugging? I'd get confused if it were me."

8:37pm. The night before the last day of school before Christmas Break. Jelly Bean: "Um, Mom, you need to bring me to the store." Me: [attempting to sit for the first time all day] "For...." JB: "I have to get presents for my friends." Me: "Silly child. You have no money and your mommy is smart enough to realize this." JB: "But I have to get them something because they got me something." Me: "It's almost nine o'clock at night, Bean." JB: [full of emotional teen angst] "Why do you always treat me like this? You just don't want me to have any friends!" Me: "How much are we talking here, Bean. How much money do you have budgeted for each gift and how many gifts do you need?" JB: "Well...." [look of panic crosses face as she realizes she must employ math skills] "... um, maybe, like, ten dollars for each gift." Me: "Ok. And how many gifts?" JB: ...

I brush my teeth with hot water because I believe the more the toothpaste bubbles and foams the cleaner your teeth get.

There is this wonderful website called Portable North Pole that helps Santa connect with children. Answer a few questions and a video link is sent to your email that you and your child can watch together. Cutest thing ever! And, yes, Dotter got one this weekend! She's been questionsing a lot lately (thanks to those unbelievers at school), but there was no denying Santa's existance after this video. (Santa just knew too much.) "Where's Jelly Bean's?" What? Jelly Bean needed a video, too? Crap. So I snuck back to the computer to answer a few questions.... to add to the fun I put her on the naughty list. Laughing my way back to the living room I waited for the Bean to notice her new mail notification inbetween her constant instant messaging. Finally she cooperated and, for the sake of Dotter, exclaimed with great excitement: "Mom! I got a video from Santa, too! Come watch! Come watch!" (A bit forced, I'll admit, but it drew Dotter to her si...

"The PD is aware of a goose with its flipper caught in a trap. We tried unsuccessful to catch it today. It can fly at least far enough to get away. It is hanging around the beach and park area for now. Fellow Mortals will take it in if we can catch it. So until it gets tired there is nothing we can do." Yes, InterPeople, this is an actual email I just received (as-is). I am currently attempting to resist the urge to run down to the beach and take a photograph of the injured goose.

Remember, kids, that your choices today may still serve up consequences in the future. Take me, for instance. One minute I'm envisioning a quaint painted wall in my living room with three framed photos of my beautiful children under one of those cute little painted plaques that say "... all because two people fell in love ..." -- the next minute I'm doing an internet search for " all because two people had unprotected sex wall signs. "

I think schools should serve alcoholic drinks at their Christmas Programs. That way you'll be concentrating more on what you're going to order next than the fact that for the past twelve minutes you haven't understood a darn word of what those kids are mumbling into the microphone.