Thursday, January 21, 2010

You are so not going out in public like that!

Today I made Big V get a new pair of shoes.
Sometimes I'm just really, really bossy.
I took photographic proof to share with all my web-buddies for further ridicule.
Sometimes I'm just really, really immature.
(Why, yes, that is a whole roll of duct tape holding his shoe together.)


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

You Need To Do That NOW?!

I've seen people do all sorts of things while driving. Dangerous things that would feasibly cause them to become distracted:

Eating, drinking, talking on the phone, texting, applying mascara, attempting to get the very last microscopic crumbs into their mouth from the bottom of a bag of chips, reading a book, reading a newspaper, writing out a check...

But never, until now, have I ever turned my head to the right, glanced over at the driver in the lane next to me, and witnessed the tap-tap-tapping of a syringe, followed by the plunging of a needle into the arm holding the steering wheel.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Monday. Why, yes it is.

I don't do a lot of "from scratch" cooking. Betty Crocker assists on a pretty regular basis, so it is with much pride that I perfected (ok, got lucky) creating a lovely Ham and Bean Stew. It was so good I snagged a helping right away to bring to work today. I even drove ten miles an hour under the speed limit to ensure it wouldn't tip over, lest I lose a morsel. Got of the car, carefully picked up my precious cargo, and 'lo and behold, the forces of nature flung that platic container to my feet so fast I couldn't blink. Pieces of ham and beans flew everywhere; even up the leg of my light tan work pants. (The only pair of decent looking work pants that I can button without passing out from lack of oxygen due to the extreme sucking in of the gut action that must take place with all my other pants.) It looks like I vomitted next to my car. Such is the beginning of a wonderful work week. Gee, I just can't wait to see what Tuesday brings.