Friday, March 19, 2010


I am so giddy with excitement I can barely contain myself. It doesn't help that I've consumed my weight in m&m's this afternoon -- I can't tell if I'm experiencing a severe sugar rush or I'm seconds away from having a stroke, one thing for sure I am not missing my plans tonight. No siree!

Tonight is Family Date Night. Also known as The Perfect Excuse To Consume Double My Weight In Popcorn Night.

Big V and I are taking Dotter to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid. (The Jelly Bean can't be bothered with this silly outing. She has real friends. Very cool friends. They watch movies with PG-13 ratings or above only. And take pictures of the movie screen with their cell phones and send picture texts of Robert Pattinson to their other equally-cool-but-unlucky-because-they're-not-at-the-movies friends.) Truth be told, I could care less about this kid's diary, the only thing I want is my special salt shaker and an IV drip of butter. I'm extremely territorial when it comes to my movie theater popcorn - I have actually unapologetically slapped the hands of those who dare steal from my kernel treasure. It's my popcorn and I don't share. Ever. I don't care what you think of me.

For those who think I am mean and karma will come back to kick my rear, don't worry, around 4am I'll be wishing I had shared, stomach as hard and bloated as possible. I won't be able to sleep and I'll plead with God that if He makes this awful uncomfortableness go away and I promise I'll never eat that much popcorn ever again. I won't follow through, though. God knows this. That's why he leans back and lets me suffer the consequences of my gluttony. I can't wait!

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