Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from April 19, 2009
Shortly after the girls and I moved in with Big V, the Jellybean experienced an intruder trying to break in to the house. She was home alone while the rest of us drove to the bank on this random, beautiful, sunshiney, couldn't-be-more-perfect afternoon. She's 13 and sulky and wasn't about to go anywhere with her hair looking like THAT! And so she stayed home alone.

Dotter and I were waiting patiently in the parking lot singing along to Hannah Montana for the umpteenth time while the all-important deposit transaction was happening inside. Who knew that in the next second I'd feel extreme helplessness and panic, something I never want to experience again.

On the other end of my cell phone, in a hushed but screaming voice was Bean... "they're trying to get in the house! oh my god! oh my god! MOM! they're opening the window - they're trying to open the WINDOW!"

What the hell was she saying? I couldn't focus. I couldn't hear. I couldn't see. I…

Cletus the Fetus

So, I surprised the hell out of myself (again) by finding out I was pregnant. I say "again" because I have two children already and neither one was exactly planned for. This one wasn't planned for either, thus the surprise.

I found out months ago, so at this point (20 weeks into said unplanned event) I find myself resolved to the fact that I shall hatch a little changeling somewhere around September 20th of this year. (Yes, I am well aware of the fact that I must endure the E-N-T-I-R-E summer. No need to mention that to me every time you see me.)

It seems our little Cletus the Fetus is a genius. Told Big V won't be able to feel the flipping fetus until probably week 25, Cletus the Fetus has set out to proove the good doctor wrong. The past two weeks have been spent hosting Boxing Rounds of the Extreme Embryos and Gymnastic Championships of the Gamete Gurus. (gamete: look it up.) Big V is in awe beyond words, wrapping his calloused hands around my bulging belly any chan…

I'd gladly pay you 20% today for quality service you might not ever provide me...

Last night I posed a simple question on my Facebook: How much do you tip your hairdresser?

I seemed to have unwittingly opened a can of exploding opinions. 36 comments later I learned that the average tip was 20% - a little more if the service was stellar, a little less if it was so deserved.

However, a few comments shocked me - and these tended to be from the hairdressers themselves, like this one:

"As a HAIRDRESSER i feel 20% is norm anything above is awesome. And if you are giving a service, a tip IS expected! It's also called common courtsey."

Really? A tip is EXPECTED by you? How about the customer expecting good service FROM you? The last time I went to get my hair done I was left alone waiting several times. Now, I've been getting my hair cut, colored and styled since I was seventeen. I think I know the drill by now, so trust me when I say I can tell the difference between waiting for my color to set and waiting for you to answer the phone (once it was your mother…