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Showing posts from January 2, 2011

Food Issues

Last night I went to the front porch to get the mail. I turned on the outside porch light so our little mailbox could illuminate any potential rabid birds. See, the owners before us had secured some sort of ugly artificial plant hanging thing just above the mailbox which I had to knock down after I discovered two birds nesting in it. Scared the life out of me and them - except they didn't drop dead. They just flapped around my head and tried to attack me. Then they had the audacity to re-nest when I went back inside. I don't know how thousands of birds can drop dead from simultaneous fear but these two little suckers were hearty enough to handle my surprise attack. Whatever. I knocked the artificial plant thing down and that was the end. Stupid feathery squatters. Anyway, I always turn on the light and I always make a lot of noise to make sure any animals disappear before picking up the mail in the dark.

So, I stepped out on the porch and spied with my little eye a pile of wh…

2011 Resolutions

I've been so procrastinating writing this post. I know it won't live up to the Rah! Rah! Rah! GOOOOOO NEW YEAR! expectations. Because seriously, I'm not about resolutions. It's like a test: Quick: what do you resolve to change about yourself? It's as if I'm being asked what crappy thing about me do I think I need to change. Uh, where do I start? So let's just get the formality out of the way: Uh, I solemnly swear to resolve to attempt to remember to write 2011 on any check I might actually end up writing in 2011, which I don't think will be many since I do everything online.

Phew. I feel so much better.