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Showing posts from January 10, 2010

Mary, Mary, Where you going to?

There's a lady that lives on the opposite end of the block from us. I'll call her "Mary" because her name just happens to be Mary. So Mary has this dog. A little, yipping-mutt type. It's an old dog, more wide than it is long, and it doesn't walk very well. Mary drags her little dog down her driveway, into the street, and walks up the block to our driveway. She continues dragging the dog up our drive like she's going to come to the door and ring the doorbell except she hangs a sharp left at the siding, drags the mutt a few feet into our front yard and hovers outside our dining room window until the mutt makes his deposit. Mary does not pick the deposit up. Ever.

This irritates me. And I've asked Mary not to use our yard. Mary explained she has to because the dog is blind. I expressed to Mary that perhaps instead of dragging the blind dog into our yard she could pick someone else's yard to drag the blind dog into because this really isn't workin…

And S-T-R-E-T-C-H!

Today was another Physical Therapy day for Cletus. I think he's got a crush on Miss Heather. She walks in and he's all smiley and giggly and showing off, "Look at me and my strong monstrous arms! Check it out - my head is raised a full 70˚ - Oh, yeah, baby!" Except moments before he was all, "Why do I have to get dressed. Can't I just sleep? Give me back that pacifier. Gawd, mom, you're so annoying." Miss Heather, completely buying into his flirting, was all "What a strong boy you are!" and I swear he made an I-Told-You-She-Thinks-I'm-Special face at me (but maybe I'm just hyper sensitive to contorted faces since I'm so used to the Bean making a multitude of faces to communicate various degrees of displeasure and resentment towards me).

We learned some new "passive stretching," which to the average outsider looks like we're barely able to hold back some sort of animalistic desire to snap his little neck. I think …

What a Nut

I've eaten no less than 8,614 cinnamon almonds from Trader Joe's today. The label reads "an irresistible snack" and they weren't kidding. Aside from looking like a cow chewing cud because I'm constantly trying to get wedged almond pieces out of my back molars, I'm finding I enjoy this snack. (8,614 is a lot of almonds, people. This produces a lot of wedage. And, yes, I made that word up.) It also leaves me wondering why I would never consider purchasing said almonds myself. Throw it on the counter, I'll eat them all day long. Pick it up off the shelf and pay for it myself? Um, not so much. I'm not sure if that means I'm lazy or cheap.